Friday, June 11, 2010

15 weeks

Sorry I haven't been around much... But I'll be playing catch up blog because I have a lot to say.

So far so good. The cervical monitoring has begun. I had an ultrasound on Wednesday and I have a perfectly normal strong cervix to start. Dr. Babytogoplease was quite excited about this, I wish I could say I am too. I am glad yes, but I probably started with a good strong cervix with Audrey too. Get me to 28-30 weeks strong, then I'll be excited. I go back in two weeks to check again and so on and so forth. I can't say enough how much I love my OB! He is so sweet and caring.

I was reading my journal entries from a year ago when I was pregnant with Audrey. I wrote about how I felt depressed and sick up to the 13th week. This made me stop and think. Huh, there really IS something to be said about the role hormones play! Strange, this is exactly how it played out this time, only I thought it had everything to do with losing Audrey. These last two weeks I have felt a lot better physically and emotionally. Yes I'm still sad about big sister but I feel like I can begin to function again while going through this grief journey.

I have to admit I was getting worried I wouldn't be good at being a mommy to anyone but Audrey, now I feel confident that I'll figure it out. I'll find a way to honor her memory and take good care of little brother or sister too.

The most exciting thing yet is that I felt you move twice this week little one! Just like your sister- packing a powerful punch or kick so early!

I just keep asking God, "Can I please bring this one home, pleeeeeaaase!?"


  1. Awwwww you little seahorse!! keep kicking your momma, what a blessing michelle :)

  2. I know how you feel! When you say that you didn't know if you could be a good mom to anyone other than Audrey. I felt the same way. But love is so so amazing!! I'll be thinking and praying for you guys! <3